When people look at me they don't see what I really am. They see an old man who is either lost and confused or a determined man who knows what he wants. I wear those faces often and many more if the truth be known. Depending on where I am going or who I am going to see determines the face I wear. My true face is never shown because I fear the reaction it will bring. I am always lost and always searching for myself. More accurately I am searching for the me that died on June the 21st of 2013. Within my mind he lives trapped in a maze and he is searching for a way out. What this me is really doing is looking for clues as to who he was and what he did. I feel that if I understand him then I can safely release him from the maze. I know that if I release him now I will be subsumed in him and stop being. His was a very strong will. His will to survive insured that his body would continue after he died. I have his body now but his mind is trapped in that maze and I and another have the keys to set him free. The other warns me that he is an unknown and cautions that he may destroy us. I know the others fears because they are mine. The other is, also, one of me that was born and died on the operating table. There was a total of eleven others that flashed onto the scene and died just as quickly as the doctors faught to save this body. The thought that my life and my existence are based upon so much death is unbearable. I seek to understand them all but him most of all to reconnect us some how.
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